The Old Switcheroo
by Jarenth
Summary: -AU- The teenaged Inuyasha falls down a well, finding himself three hundred years in the past. He frees the hanyou Kagome from her tree, breaks the Shikon no Tama, and the rest is history...
1. The Boy Who Overcame Time

**~Chapter One~ **

**The Boy Who Overcame Time… **

**And the Girl Who Was Just Overcome**

**OoO**

Disclaimer: I own nothing whatsoever. So sue me. (Wait, no!)

Summary: It's the plot of Inuyasha with everything switched around and turned upside down. Kagome is the hanyou, who was sealed by the priest Sesshoumaru and released by his reincarnation, Inuyasha. It will follow canon for a little while, but it should branch off soon.

Pairings: Inuyasha/Kagome, plus some Sesshoumaru/Kagome (like the canon Inuyasha/Kikyou).

**OoO**

It was a warm summer night. The air was stuffy and still, and even the crickets had decided that chirping would be a waste of energy. The villagers had, for the most part, retired to their huts for the night. The silence was complete.

BANG!

A figure with long black hair burst from the shrine, clutching a glowing pink jewel.

CRASH!

She ran from the village, triumph in her eyes. _Ha! I've got it now!_ Into the forest she ran, when a voice from behind her yelled, "Kagome!"

She turned slightly, still half running, to see Him behind her. His silvery-white hair blew in the wind, and his clothes were bloodstained. Despite his obvious injuries, he pulled his sword from its sheath. She watched in horror as he shifted it. She had no time to move, and saw rather than felt it ram through her chest. The swords momentum threw her backward, embedding itself into the big tree and pinning her to it. Blood dripped to the ground below her as she cried out, "Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru, you bastard!" Her world faded to black. The Shikon no Tama fell from her limp fingers, as claws receded into nails.

Kagome never saw the man she had once loved crumple and fall to the ground. She never heard him whisper with his dying breath that he wished for the jewel, that terrible pink jewel that had caused all of this to happen, to be burned with his body. The man called Sesshoumaru died with her, but she would never know…

**OoO**

"Inuyasha!"

A silver-haired boy turned over in his sleep. "Five more minutes." He mumbled.

His mother gently shook him again. "I know it's your birthday, but if you don't get up now you'll be late for school."

She had him from 'birthday.' He nearly knocked her over running to the bathroom. She smiled indulgently. Her little boy was growing up fast. Still smiling, she walked downstairs to finish making breakfast.

When Inuyasha came down to breakfast, he rolled his eyes. His grandfather was telling his little sister another of his tall tales.

"It's true, my girl! Five hundred years ago, at this very place-"

"-a bunch of medieval villagers were bored outta their skulls waiting for somebody to invent the TV."

Myoga pouted. "Don't mock me, you impertinent youngster! This shrine is full of history!"

Inuyasha snorted, "You think _pickles_ are full of history, old man."

His grandfather fumed, "Why, when I was your age…!"

Izayoi cleared her throat. "Sit down, Inuyasha, and eat some breakfast." she suggested brightly.

Inuyasha sat and ate his eggs, seemingly unconcerned by the glare his grandpa was shooting him. Indeed, he seemed to be in rather a better mood than usual. Turning fifteen will do that to you. After wolfing down his breakfast, he said goodbye to his mom, stuck his tongue out at his grandpa, and walked out the door, whistling a jaunty tune.

He stopped short, however, upon seeing his sister edging into the well house.

"Hitomi! You know you aren't allowed in there. That building's so old you could fall through the floor."

She started at the sound of his voice. "I know, but the dog ran in there." She said, turning to meet his eyes. She looked guilty, and more than a little nervous. Inuyasha sighed.

"Alright, alright already. I'll get him out." He nudged her aside, and walked in.

The room smelled like mildew and dry rot. He winced, and held his nose. Smell aside, this place gave Inuyasha the creeps, and he didn't want to spend any more time in there than necessary.

"Totosai… C'mere boy…" He nearly yelped when he felt the family dog crashed into his leg. "Stupid dog." he muttered. Totosai licked his knee, barked, and ran up to greet Hitomi. At least she looked grateful. Inuyasha followed the dog up the stairs. Looking up, he saw that Hitomi's happy grin had faded into a look of pure fright.

"Inuyasha! Behind you!"

"Wha-" he couldn't finish his words before he felt claws digging into his back, pulling him down, down, down into the well.

Inuyasha floated in a vast black space. He tried to move, but found himself restricted. He turned his head to see what was holding him, and immediately wished he hadn't.

It was as if somebody had taken a crude sketch of a woman's head and torso, and attached it to the body of a centipede. But the centipede's flesh was rotting, barely clinging to its cracked bones. Its tongue extended, and licked his face. "Give it to me."

"What?" Inuyasha managed to choke. That smell was truly nauseating. He could barely think! And what the hell could be going on? A strange demon-woman pulling him into a well? This sounded like a story that his grandfather would tell.

"The sacred jewel! I must have it!"

"Yeah, you must, 'cause I sure as hell don't!" He was really getting pissed. If this was a figment of his imagination, he needed to stop watching B rated horror movies.

"I know you have it! I can feel it! Already my strength returns!"

That last part certainly appeared to be true. The smell of rotting flesh had gone down considerably, and the creature's many legs were scuttling about. Its centipede-like appendages began to curl around his body. It opened its mouth, revealing serpentine fangs. "I want it! I need it! Give it to me!" Its foul breath blew into his face.

"GET OFFA ME!" Inuyasha bellowed, shoving its face away. Pink light exploded from his hand, literally blasting away… whatever it was. It writhed in agony, dropping him. He fell to the floor with a sickening crunch.

The scent of decaying leaves brought Inuyasha back to consciousness. He slowly picked himself up off the floor. "What the hell…?" He remembered Hitomi asking him to go into the well house. Right, because Totosai was being an idiot and wandered in there.

"Hitomi?" he called, "Are you up there Hitomi? 'Cause I think you'd better get Mom."

No answer. "That's odd…" He had a splitting headache. "Must've hit my head on the way down." He said to himself, "Which explains that dream, or whatever it was." That did it; he was going to give up horror movies for good. Imagining demons! He had to be… huh?

He looked up, to see bright sunlight shining down. "But there's a roof!" he argued, lamely. He decided that, since it was obvious that nobody had heard him, he would have to climb out of the well. Another oddity presented itself: the well was full of vine-like plants. But he wasn't about to look a gift plant in the mouth, and so he began to laboriously haul himself out.

Reaching the top of the well, Inuyasha's remaining faith in his sanity vanished. Instead of the dusty old well house, he found himself in the middle of a meadow. 'Meadow' being defined as 'pretty stretch of grass with butterflies/flowers etc., but no sign of the family shrine.'

Totosai, we are _so_ not in Tokyo anymore.

"Great. Just great." Inuyasha did not like to think of himself as a whiner, but reality struck again. "I've got no effing clue where I am, with no sign of my house, which was RIGHT HERE a minute ago, and I'm having hallucinations about centipede-girls licking my face…!" He cut off, "Thank god, the tree."

For he had indeed spotted the Goshinboku, the same great tree that had been his favorite part of the family shrine. It seemed to poke up from a massive forest, but that didn't deter him. Instead, he ran towards the first familiar thing he had seen.

Upon reaching it, he drew a blank. He had half expected to see the family shrine, but it was obviously missing. The tree was obviously the same; there was no mistaking it. However, it looked… different, somehow. Younger. There were far more vines tangling over its trunk than he remembered, and what was that bulge?

He drew back with a gasp. Was that… a girl?

"Um, hi." He called out to her, "What'cha doing up there?"

Gingerly, he moved closer. Her kimono was a dark green that blended in with the vines, probably why he hadn't spotted her immediately. The obi was a dark red, which in the shadows blended quite well with the tree trunk. Looking more closely, he made out a stylized pattern of white leaves down one side. It certainly was an odd garment; more like one of his grandpa's beloved historical costumes than anything normal people would wear. Her eyes were closed, apparently sleeping. Her skin was porcelain pale and smooth, and her face was beautiful and delicate. Her long black tresses fluttered in the breeze. Inuyasha found himself blushing: this girl was _hot_.

After a moment's awed staring, Inuyasha did a double take. What were those triangles on top of her head? He leaned forward, and was shocked to discover, "Ears? What kind of girl has ears like that? Is there a cat out there with human ears, or something? Like a transplant?" He shook his head. They probably fake, anyway. One good yank, and they'd come free. He reached up, and tentatively pulled one. It stayed put. He found himself playing with her ears drew back, blushing harder. Of course, if this place has human centipedes, why not catgirls? He stifled a laugh; his perverted friends would love this.

His hands brushed metal, and he looked down. He scrambled back, horrified. This girl had a bloodstained sword sticking out of her! He was so shocked and appalled that he didn't notice that the sword pulsed under his touch…

"You there!"

Inuyasha spun around, disoriented, to find himself face to face with a mass of men dressed like they came out of a history book. He was not at all pleased to note that the ones nearest to him were pointing crossbows at his head.

"Why are you in Kagome's forest?" The man nearest him growled.

Inuyasha blinked. "Couldn't tell you. No idea."

He quickly found that this was the wrong answer, and found his arms pinned behind his back.

"Walk. We don't take kindly to demons here." The same man growled from behind him.

"Demons? What the hell are you jawin' ab-"

"Make way for High Priest Jaken!"

"-out?" Inuyasha looked up to see what looked like a medieval priest bearing down upon him.

"Demon, be gone!"

Inuyasha had had enough of this. "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, I'M NOT A DEMON!" he yelled, flushing.

The crowd of villagers muttered ominously. He managed to pick out a few garbled phrases like "foreign spy" and "fox in disguise."

"Are ye not?" The priest, unlike his fellows, had lost none of his composure. "Then what were ye doing in the forest of Kagome?"

"Nothin' much. Just looking around." Inuyasha tried to get a look at his surroundings. It looked like a haphazard collection of wooden huts; a medieval village or something. That part certainly went along with the strange apparel that the people here sported. _'What did I do, get blasted into the past, or something?' _He snorted at the thought.

A funny look crossed the priest's face. "What is your name, boy?" He lifted Inuyasha's face, examining it.

Inuyasha jerked away, "It's Inuyasha, old man."

"I see." The priest looked him up and down, "Then tell me Inuyasha; how it is that you came to look exactly like my dead brother Sesshoumaru?"

**OoO**

The priest Jaken handed Inuyasha a bowl of stew, which he took without comment. The inside of the hut was more comfortable than he had thought it would be, but he wasn't about to show any gratitude to this guy.

Jaken spoke up, "I hope you understand that these are difficult times. Somebody with strange clothing like yours, and showing up in Kagome's forest… it does not make one think for the best. Even an ordinary stranger would be subject to much skepticism."

Inuyasha looked down, and snorted. Strange clothing? Like this guy could talk! Inuyasha was just wearing his school uniform. Sure, black wasn't really his color, but it was _normal_. Unlike _this_ freak show. "I'm really not in Tokyo anymore." he groaned.

"To-ky-o?" asked Jaken, stumbling over the word, "Is that where you come from?"

Suddenly, a man burst into the room. "Lord Jaken, a demon!"

The three of them –one of whom was very reluctant- burst outside, to see…

"That butt-ugly centipede again?"

The demon in question turned at the sound of his voice. "Give me the Shikon jewel!" She nearly slammed into him, but Jaken pulled him aside.

"Jeez, talk about your one-track minds!" Inuyasha rolled over to escape another attack.

Jaken shot Inuyasha a searching look, "The Shikon no Tama, she says? Have you it, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha shook his head wildly, "I've never even heard of this thing before!" A determined look came into his eyes, "But if it wants me, then I can get it away from here!" And he took off running.

Four stubbed toes later, he was cursing his rashness. He had no clue of where he was going, and the centipede-lady was right on his heels!

"Argh!" He ducked under her/its legs, doubling back toward the forest. _'Maybe I can lose it in the trees!'_

He ran and ran, until he found himself in the glade with the Goshinboku, and the dead girl sealed to the tree. Although, she didn't look quite so dead now…

"What's the matter, Sesshoumaru?" she taunted as Inuyasha stumbled. "Can't squash one teensy weensy little centipede?"

Inuyasha gaped, "You- you're alive!" _'Alrighty then, this day just got weirder.'_

She ignored him, "Honestly, you got me, right? Me, Kagome, one of the most powerful demons in existence. That pitiful demon isn't even on my level. The Sesshoumaru _I_ know would have obliterated her as soon as seeing her."

Inuyasha growled, "Keh. Whoever this 'Sesshoumaru' is, he sure ain't me."

She snorted, "Of course you are. White hair, gold eyes, vacant expression, who else could you be? There's no way that anybody else could smell just like-" She sniffed, eyes widening, "Wait a minute…"

But there was no time to wait a minute, because at that precise moment our dearly beloved centipede decided to show up. It knocked our hero into Kagome's legs, and wound itself around the tree. "Give me the jewel NOW!"

"I TOLD you, I don't HAVE it!" Inuyasha yelled. The demon squeezed the tree- and Inuyasha- tighter. Just as it began to get unbearable, there was a loud squelching pop. Something pink flew out of his side, and rolled onto the ground. The centipede demon's made a beeline for the tiny thing.

The sound of running footsteps approached, and Inuyasha saw the priest approaching through the trees, along with what looked like most of the village men, all of whom were gaping at the still-rolling gem. He felt the Kagome shift and murmur, "The Shikon jewel… It was inside his body?"

Inuyasha himself didn't feel too comfortable with that thought. Here he was, already queasy from being squeezed by some sort of woman/centipede/possibly boa constrictor hybrid, and now it turns out that he had some sort of jewel inside his body? This was really not going to be in his top five favorite birthdays. Not even his top _fifteen_.

Make that sixteen- even the actual day of his birth had probably been more pleasant. At least he had no memories to the contrary. This day just took the cake for awfulness, and he had the distressing feeling that he would never be able to quash it from his memory. The centipede-woman had found the jewel, extended her tongue, and swallowed it. Inuyasha wondered how he could have thought that he had felt nauseous before. Sure, moments before his situation had been exactly the same, but the centipede-woman had undergone some sort of transformation by swallowing the jewel. Let's just say that if he had thought that she was hideous before, at least before she looked like a she. Now, the demon's "human parts" had become scaly and maroon. Its eyes were red, and its fangs much too large for its face.

Inuyasha felt bile rising in his throat and tried desperately not to vomit. His best efforts couldn't keep his face from turning green, though.

Kagome smirked, obviously noting his discomfort. "Bit useless, aren't you?"

Inuyasha scowled back, "For somebody who called herself a powerful demon, I don't see YOU doing anything."

She gritted her teeth, "I can't. In case you haven't noticed, I'm sort of stuck here!"

Inuyasha grabbed the handle of the sword. Jaken yelled, "Inuyasha, no! If you set her free, she'll kill us all!"

"Yeah, well, it's not like we're better off now!" He yanked, hard, and the sword slid out. The sword gave off a pink glow, and pulsed. So did Kagome, who grinned and flexed her claws. Inuyasha was shocked to see that there was no remnant of a wound where the sword had been.

"Oh boy, do I ever feel good." Kagome's grin widened.

Inuyasha missed most of the next minute's events, happening too fast for his to see. All he knew was that Kagome had torn the centipede to shreds, and he was lying on the ground. His headache from before, forgotten because of all of the strange events, returned tenfold, and he tried once more to keep his stomach from escaping through his throat.

Jaken shook him gently. "Where is the jewel?"

Inuyasha was taken aback, "What?"

"Tell me where you see the jewel. Otherwise, Mistress Centipede will reassemble herself."

At the thought, Inuyasha's hold on his treacherous nausea began to slip. He steeled his nerves, concentrating for a moment solely on breathing. He would not be the sort of sissy that threw up at the first sight of gore. Hadn't he spent half of his life playing video games? Sure, even the most impressive graphics were nothing on firsthand experience, and couldn't come anywhere near to capturing the _smell_, but he would tough this out like a man.

Finally, he looked up. "Um… there!" He pointed to the pink glow in one of the chunks of flesh. Wiggling flesh. He closed his eyes, trying to burn the image from his mind. When he dared to open them, Jaken was holding the jewel. All that was left of the centipede demon were bones, still steaming. Inuyasha felt very woozy indeed. He stood up with minimal difficulty, and mentally congratulated himself for taking this so well. All right, not _well_, per say, but better than most people would.

Jaken walked over, and dropped it into Inuyasha's left hand. His right, he realized, still held the sword that he had pulled from the tree. _Does that make me king of England or something?_ He laughed at his own thought, before examining the jewel more closely. He was utterly horrified.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT I WAS ALMOST KILLED OVER A LITTLE PINK JEWEL THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING MY EIGHT-YEAR-OLD SISTER WOULD WEAR?" Inuyasha yelped, and shuddered. _Pink_. How he loathed that color.

"If you don't want it, why don't you give it to me?" came a silky voice from behind. "I promise I'll take really good care of it. Why don't you just hand it over?"

Inuyasha met Kagome's eyes. Blue, he noticed, and slightly overlarge. Thick eyelashes, too. She looked almost cute.

"Nope." He shook his head. "Somehow, I just don't trust you. I've seen that look on my little sister- nobody who looks so innocent can be all she seems."

Kagome's pleasant demeanor evaporated. "In that case, hand it over or I'll rip it from your lifeless fingers!" She flexed her claws, and sprang.

Inuyasha threw up the sword in an attempt to block her.

"Not bad… for an amateur. Why don't you just give up? It's obvious that you can't use it. Just hand over my sacred jewel."

Inuyasha snorted. "Your jewel? Give me a break!" _'Argh, was that crack my arm? I can't hold her off much longer!'_ He found himself being pushed backward through the trees by the force of her blows. "This just gets better and better." he groaned aloud.

Meanwhile, Jaken was fiddling with a bunch of beads. He began to chant under his breath, and the beads glowed. Still chanting softly, the beads flew around in a high arc, and circled around Kagome's neck. Puzzled by her new necklace, she stopped her onslaught. Inuyasha fell to the ground, panting for breath. The sword flew out of his hands.

"Quickly, boy! Your word will bind her!"

Inuyasha looked over at Jaken, bewildered. "Huh?"

"What you say matters not. Whatever it is, it will stop her from causing harm."

Kagome snorted. "Stop me from causing harm? Yeah right, old man." She swooped down on Inuyasha, who threw his hands up to shield his face.

"Down, girl!"

The necklace glowed pink, and pulled Kagome face-first into the ground.

Inuyasha blinked, "Now why the hell didn't I think of that earlier?"

Kagome growled, and started to stand.

"Bad kitty. Down, girl."

THUMP.

**OoO**

A/N: This is my first major project, so feedback would be appreciated!

((EDIT 3/6/2012: Because so many people have expressed interest in Through Wolf's Eyes, my muses decided to: reboot this story instead. Ouch. I will eventually finish chapter three, I promise!

I've made some minor edits to this chapter- just a few small details changed, but my outline for future chapters makes MUCH more sense now than when I began this story. I've ironed out most of my characterizations, too, so the Kohaku/Rin scenario no longer gives me a raging headache. Rin-as-Inuyasha's-sister has been replaced with Hitomi, a girl Souta crushes on in a filler episode. Kagome's eyes have changed to their manga blue, and I gave Inuyasha a bit more credit for keeping his head in a crisis. Other than that, the only changes are to my outlines and in my head. Look forward to future installments- the story lives!))


	2. Seekers of the Sacred Jewel

**~Chapter Two~**

**Seekers of the Sacred Jewel**

**OoO**

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nada. So sue me.

Calliope & Clio: sharpen scythes

Jen: No! So _don't_ sue me! You wouldn't get anything even if you did!

Summary: Basically, it's the plot of Inuyasha with everything switched around and turned upside down. Kagome is the hanyou, who is sealed by the priest Sesshoumaru and released by his reincarnation, Inuyasha. It will follow canon for a little while, but it should branch off soon.

Pairings: Inuyasha/Kagome, plus some Sesshoumaru/Kagome (like the canon Inuyasha/Kikyou). I will probably try to work in a little one-sided Ayame/Inuyasha and Kouga/Ayame, if only for comic relief.

Author's Note: Contrary to popular opinion, I am, in fact, alive. Sorry to keep you all waiting for so long! (To NinjaDancer: Okay! I updated! Don't hurt me!)

Thanks to Janzo the Ashbringer for pointing out a glaring error.

**OoO**

By morning, the little village had become a hub of activity. It seemed like all of the villagers had gotten together to rebuild the houses that the centipede-_thing_ had destroyed. Inuyasha felt vaguely sorry for indirectly causing all of this, but he had bigger problems on his hands.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I HAVE TO PROTECT THIS THING?"

Jaken was unfazed by his outburst, and simply continued rubbing some sort of nasty-smelling greenish stuff onto his wounds. "Simmer down, Inuyasha, or the salve will smear."

Inuyasha grumbled, but sat back down again. The smelly stuff- he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know what was in it- was stinging like hell, but Jaken had promised that it would speed up the healing process. Inuyasha was really missing the local pharmacy right about then.

"The jewel flew from inside your body. It is, therefore, your burden." Jaken continued, oblivious to Inuyasha's death-glare. "Many will try to steal it, like Mistress Centipede last night. And it won't just be demons." He stood, crossing to the other side of the tiny hut. "The jewel can amplify human talents as well." He picked up what looked like a wad of cloth. It turned out to be cloth bandages. Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder if they were even sanitary.

"Anyone with evil in their heart will be drawn to the jewel. Ye must be on your guard, Inuyasha." Jaken finished wrapping the bandage.

Inuyasha fingered it gingerly. "So it's a magnet for evil. Great, just effing _great_. Most of my teachers think I'm the spawn of the devil, so why do I feel repulsed by the dumb thing?"

Jaken whacked his staff about half an inch to the left of Inuyasha, nearly cracking the floor. "Be not so impertinent. Ye must have a pure soul, if you are who I believe you to be."

"And that is…?" Inuyasha was getting sick of archaic grammar. Really sick.

"The jewel was burned with the body of my dead brother Sesshoumaru. For it to be inside your body with ye none the wiser, ye must be his reincarnation. I had suspected from the beginning, but it was that that proved it."

Inuyasha definitely did _not_ like the sound of that. He also didn't like the stead thumping coming from the other side of the room, and in his male brain, concrete annoyance was more pressing than the abstract.

"What are you still hanging around for, anyway?" He growled at the tail-tapping neko.

Kagome glanced up, her slitted eyes almost meeting his own. "What else? I'm waiting for you to give me the jewel. It's not like you can use it. You don't even like it! So, I'll just wait here until you plan on being less selfish."

Inuyasha glared at her back. "What do you need with power, anyway? You seem pretty strong to me."

She gave an exaggerated sigh, turning around again. "Isn't it just like a boy, making assumptions like that!"

"For all of her strengths, Kagome is only a half-demon. For over fifty years, she's wanted to steal it to become a full-blood." Jaken cut in.

"Sure, old man. Like you know anything about me."

Jaken raised a bushy eyebrow. "Do ye really not remember me, Kagome? Fifty years can change a man, and I have grown old from the boy you once knew. Still, your nose has been boasted of on many occasions. Has it withered away to nothing?"

Kagome wrinkled her nose, dilating it rapidly. An odd look crossed her face. "Jaken…? Sess- _The bastard's-_ shadow of a baby brother?"

Jaken nodded sagely, "It is I."

Kagome snorted loudly. "I guess He must really be an old geezer by now, if _you_'re this old."

"Nay, Kagome, do ye not remember that, either? You killed him even as he killed you."

An expression of pure shock hit her face, but she quickly masked it with one of disdain. "Perfect. That saves me the trouble of killing him now." She daintily raised a clawed hand, "And killing an old man would hardly be sporting, anyhow."

"Save your talk, Kagome. As I said before, Inuyasha is clearly the reincarnation of my dead brother."

Inuyasha felt that the conversation was spiraling out of control, and that this would be a good time to assert himself. "Hey, not for nothing old man, but couldn't this just be some freaky coincidence about the jewel? Like, somehow I swallowed it as a baby and it got embedded into my insides or something? 'Cause it looks like the sort of thing that my grandpa would have lying around the house."

Jaken looked bemusedly over at Inuyasha. "Nay, Inuyasha, there is no doubt in my mind. Even without the jewel, you appear to have inherited his psychic power. And even without his power, you look extraordinarily like him. The shape of your cheekbones, the exact amber shade of your eyes, and the unnatural-looking silver hair… You are even glaring at me with the exact expression I knew so well as a boy."

Inuyasha _was_ glaring at him. He didn't like be analyzed like that! Especially by some creepy old guy who he knew next-to-nothing about. He searched his repertoire for a comeback, but only hit on one.

"My hair looks unnatural because it _is_ unnatural. I dye it." So there, old man. "I was planning on redoing it again tomorrow- look; you can see that my roots are black."

Jaken raised an eyebrow, and before Inuyasha knew what he was doing, he had roughly pulled a strand of hair straight from the roots.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT… for…?"

Inuyasha looked at the lock that the smirking Jaken held out to him. It was silver, alright, from the ends- split, not that he cared- to where he had torn them from the roots. In the flickering light of the room, the hairs glistened: not with his familiar dye-job dullness, but with a natural sheen. Something very odd was going on here.

For once in his life, Inuyasha found himself comeback-free.

**OoO**

"_It is your duty to protect the jewel, Inuyasha. You released it once more into the world, and so it is you who will keep it until it may again leave."_

Inuyasha fingered it gingerly, toying with its odd necklace. He refused point-blank to wear it, so he was reduced to carrying it around everywhere.

"_I've_ gotta protect this jewel…? This little pink Hitomi-reject? No effing way, gramps. This is nuts." he muttered; making his way through, and hopefully out of, the village.

Several villagers were watching him and muttering. He managed to catch a few scattered phrases- "Really? He thinks so?" "Sesshoumaru-sama!" "_Reincarnation…!_" - that did nothing to alleviate his bad mood. He glared at their looks of near-worship, and said nothing in greeting.

Elsewhere, in an equally bad but more emotionally taxing mood, Kagome sat. The elsewhere in question was a branch about halfway up the Goshinboku, and she was lost in thought.

"Dead…" she murmured to herself, staring at nothing, "I wouldn't think it possible… Not him. He always seemed so untouchable."

"HEY, KITTY! IF YOU'RE DONE MOPING, THE OLD GUY SENT ME WITH LUNCH!"

Kagome almost fell off her branch, "Don't sneak up on me like that!" She jumped down, landed lightly on her feet, and brushed herself off. She glowered at Inuyasha, "And I was _not_ moping!" She grabbed the basket that Inuyasha had been holding, and defiantly took a bite of some kind of fish-and rice…something. "And my name isn't kitty! It's Kagome!" she added as an afterthought.

"Keh. _Suuure_ you weren't." Inuyasha didn't particularly care, so he let the matter slide. Let the kitty mope, it wasn't his problem. On the other hand, he didn't like the shifty look she was giving him.

"Why do you hate me?"

"Wha-?" Kagome looked up from her rice, swallowing.

"Why do you hate me? I'm the one who let you off of that tree, remember? You should be thanking my ass for setting you free, not glaring at me when you think I'm not looking."

"Who says I wanted to be set free?" she shot back, but her heart wasn't in her words.

"Look. I know there was bad blood between you and this Sesshoumaru guy, alright? But read my lips: _that wasn't me_. I don't care how much you hated the guy, because I'm not him! I'm Inuyasha!"

"Are you stupid or what? I don't care who you are! In order to get the Sacred Jewel, I have to be merciless!" she snapped, her tough guise returning full-force.

"I see." Inuyasha deadpanned, "Sorry, but that ain't gonna be any time soon. And if you try and take it, all I have to do is say "down-""

CRASH!

"Oops, sorry! I didn't mean it that time!"

"Damn you." Kagome groaned; her teeth clenched.

Later that night, Inuyasha tossed and turned as he tried to sleep. "Two days." he murmured, "It's been two days since I feel through that creepy well. Somebody's bound to have called the cops by now… Or am I just hallucinating? Am I really at home, this very minute, babbling nonsense about catgirls and girly jewels?"

"Nah." he rolled over, pulling his blanket up to his eyes, "Even _I'm _not crazy enough to think up something like this."

And with that comforting thought, he finally managed to drift off into sleep.

Outside the hut, Kagome hissed threateningly at a flock of crows that had gathered, attracted by the presence of the jewel. "It's mine, you pesky bunch of vermin. Shoo!"

The birds obeyed, cawing mockingly back at her.

Kagome flexed her claws in irritation, "Damn it… Not even a crow will take me seriously anymore… I need to get back up to my old strength!"

**OoO**

Inuyasha had been thinking, a fairly unusual pastime for him. By the time he woke up, he had a plan formulated in his mind, so obvious that he was kicking himself mentally for not noticing it earlier. The well! He had fallen down the well to get here; jumping back in it ought to take him home. Or to some other random time period. Still, it couldn't hurt to try.

He woke early, much earlier than he normally would have, tingling with excitement. Perhaps sleep deprivation elevated his mood, but he knew that he was going home. Home… a place he hated with all of his adolescent heart, and loved with all of his maturity. So, he mostly hated it. But now, he was aching for something familiar, and the god tree didn't count.

He tiptoed out of the hut, slunk out of the village as quietly as he could, and punched the air as soon as he escaped into the forest. He was getting out of there!

About an hour later, the village was on full red alert. Jaken paced back and forth around the village center.

"It's no good, Jaken-sama! The boy is nowhere to be found!"

Jaken frowned, sighing, "That boy… I should have taken more care to warn him of those who would steal the jewel! There is no way that he could protect himself from even a rudimentary youkai, let alone a strong one. He should have been told the dangers of venturing out alone."

Kagome, standing on the roof, grimaced. Whatever that idiot had decided to do, he once again proved his lack of sense. She jumped down and started running.

Speaking of rudimentary, Inuyasha barely had time to be lost before being pounced on by a large burly man. He stuck his hairy knuckles in the teen's mouth, "Don't scream, pretty boy."

Inuyasha got one look at the crowd of thugs before a blindfold was thrust over his eyes. He felt himself hoisted over what was presumably the bandit's shoulder, and the bouncing that meant he was running. Joy.

When he _finally_ stopped and took the blindfold off, Inuyasha found himself in a clearing. There was a smallish, dilapidated hut in the center, and several more thugs were gathered around it. Even though the rational part of his mind knew he had no chance of fighting these guys, the majority of his mind was _pissed_.

"Boss! I captured him, just like you ordered!" yelled the bandit that still had a hold of him. His voice irritated Inuyasha: high pitched and rough at the same time.

Another bandit peered at him, "He really has some strange clothes on. What kind of guy dresses in such flimsy stuff?" He pulled at the buttons on Inuyasha's shirt.

Inuyasha twisted and pulled himself out of the large men's grasp. "Why did I have to be wearing my school uniform? Never again, I swear." he muttered, falling to the ground with a crunch.

"Give me the Jewel." The voice was slow and monotonous, as if it barely knew how to talk.

The boss of the thugs, a fat and big man, trudged slowly towards Inuyasha. He unsheathed his sword, as two goons grabbed his arms.

"What the fu-"

"Yeah, Boss! Slice 'im in half!"

"Let me go!" Inuyasha struggled, managing to discomfort his captors, but no more than that.

"Start praying!" one of the thugs sniggered.

The boss, to Inuyasha's relief and amazement, sliced open one of the goons that was holding him.

"B-Boss!" the thug chocked, blood spurting everywhere.

"Made a mistake…" the boss mumbled, still in the same creepy monotone. He pulled his sword out, readying for another attack. He swung his sword clumsily several times, but his aim seems somewhat off: he wounded another two of his goons before they got the picture and backed off.

"Boss, where the hell are you aiming? It's him! Aren't you gonna kill this guy?" bleated one of the thugs, pushing Inuyasha forward.

"What the hell are you doing? There's obviously something wrong with your boss, even I can see that!" Inuyasha punched the goons holding him, and was satisfied to hear the crunch of a broken nose. Man, he should have tried that earlier.

"I don't care in the least if you guys get killed, but if _you_ care, you oughtta get out of here right now!"

The boss swung his sword at them yet again, but this time they all managed to squat and dodge. The thugs ran off in separate directions, leaving Inuyasha to fend for himself.

"Why me? I know I'm no angel, but do I really deserve this?" he kvetched to himself as he ran. He almost tripped over one of the mercenaries, who had fallen. He roughly pulled the other up, not bothering to listen to the awkward thanks.

"I knew keeping the stupid thing was a bad idea!" he groaned to himself, as the eerie leader of the thugs yet again demanded that he hand it over. Rather than following the instruction, he opted for shoving the man he had helped up at his comrades, and trying desperately to find a way out. In his desperation, he barely noticed the jewel falling out of his pocket.

He braced himself. The boss, with his unnatural, almost drunk gait, swung his sword closer and closer—

WHAM!

A black-and-green blur charged into the clearing, knocking the sword clear out of the creepy boss's hands. Before he even had time to react, his head had been torn from his shoulders.

Kagome smirked and was obviously about to say something, but she was interrupted as decapitated boss stood and lunged at her. She clawed at him again, but missed—pulling off his shirt, but not hitting him.

A cloying scent filled the air, and Inuyasha's head swam. Whether it was from the reek of rotten flesh, or simply the sight of a crow's nest sticking out of the man's chest, he didn't know. He wasn't even aware that he had sat down until Kagome scoffed at him.

"What's the matter, kid? A corpse crow is nothing to be afraid of." she taunted, emphasizing her point by easily killing the bird as it tried to escape its host. Without its passenger, the corpse of the mercenary's boss collapsed to the ground.

"He must've been dead for a few days, judging by the reek. The crow ripped out his heart and made its nest in there- bloody cowards, these birds." She looked as if she was going to sniff disdainfully, but thought better of it. After all, she _did_ have a sensitive nose.

Inuyasha murmured an embarrassed thank you, but Kagome wasn't interested.

"I didn't do this for you; I want the jewel! Please tell me you didn't do something stupid, like losing it?"

"Of course not!" Inuyasha couldn't believe the nerve of the girl. Here he was, apologizing—something he _never_ did, and she just threw it pack in his face! "The dumb thing's right here in my…" he trailed off, as his search of his pockets revealed no jewel.

Kagome had looked up during his little musings. A demon boar snuffled into the clearing. She debated killing it, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. Only upon hearing Inuyasha's rather more frantic searching did she notice the small glint of pink in the grass.

She sprang, but the boar beat her to it. It swallowed the little pink thing before she reached it, and bolted.

"You _IDIOT_!" Kagome was livid. Inuyasha quailed. Some girls were hot when they were angry. This one was just plain terrifying!

"I… uh…" he stuttered.

"Save your explanations, dimwit, it's getting away!" Before he realized what was going on, she had pulled him, piggyback style, onto her back. Inuyasha found himself blushing against his will, but the cat demon had other plans. Seeing one of the mercenaries' swords lying on the ground, she picked it up and tossed it back to Inuyasha. Unprepared for its weight, he nearly dropped it.

She then took off full-tilt after the boar. "Sesshoumaru was a master swordsman. You'll be able to see where the jewel is in its body, right? So you can aim way better than I could at a run."

"Are you crazy?" Inuyasha found that he could barely stay on Kagome's back with two arms, let alone swinging an oversized sword. "It's been _years_ since my last kendo lesson, and I never had the opportunity to practice it while playing chicken!"

"Just cut the damn thing open before it decides to transform into something nasty!" Kagome said through gritted teeth.

"A-alright." As the pair approached, the boar sped up. Inuyasha leaned out to strike…

WHAM!

He hit the ground with a loud thump, knocking the wind out of him.

"Erm… You're not lying about whatsisface being a master swordsman, are you?"

Kagome boxed his ear, rather painfully. "No, you idiot! But it looks like we're too late…!"

Indeed, the boar had nearly doubled in size, and was pulsating unpleasantly. Not to mention the third and fourth eyes that had somehow popped up.

It reared, and doubled back, jumping straight over Inuyasha's dazed head. In that split second, he saw a glint of pink and blindly stabbed upward.

BAM!

In the second sound effect in mere paragraphs, Inuyasha proved once again the downside of thinking with testosterone. He felt something crack before being laid flat on his back yet again, wondering how in the name of Dante's Inferno he had managed to make a pig explode.

Little pink flashes flew by. He wondered, still dazed what they were. Sticking out his palm to catch one, he suddenly yelped in pain. A little pink shard of glass had embedded itself in his hand.

But wait. Pulling it out, he realized that it was too hard to be glass. And the color matched-

Inuyasha laughed nervously. "Oops."


End file.
